im drinking this country out of the recession.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
