it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
