My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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