we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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