i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
