He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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