Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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