Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
