is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize