She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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