Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
