Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize