She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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