Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
