Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
