who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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