so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
