Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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