My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
