so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
