do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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