After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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