I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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