You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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