Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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