you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
