Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
