I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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