So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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