the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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