Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if only i could text you this smell
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
