What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
