I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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