I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
