why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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