my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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