Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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