I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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