...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is the high leading the old right now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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