I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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