You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
