Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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