he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
