DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
