That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
