dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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