my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i came on her dog
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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