so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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