Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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