someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize