Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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