if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
