R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
