You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
