I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize