If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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