It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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