Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
