This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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