Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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